Haley: For the record, name and what you play.
Jeff:I'm Jeff I sound like THIS and I sing and I play guitar and a bunch of other shit sometimes.
Dave:I'm Dave I play trombone and I sing sometimes.
*At this point in the interview people were getting concerned as to whether or not to yell in my tape recorder.
Jeff:I'm Jeff!
Joe:I'm Joe I play guitar and I do some crazy shit too.
Haley: Someone's coming.
Dave: Mikes coming! He plays drums and reads Harry Potter.

Haley:Explain the "Arrogant Sons of Bitches".
Jeff: The name or the mission at hand or..
Haley: Both.
Jeff: All right well the name is stupid I thought of it in seventh grade and I don't even remember how old I was, but I was talking to my friend who had a band called 'The Posers' at the time, and I said they should name their band the "Arrogant Sons of Bitches" and he said its stupid so I said fine fuck you, I'll name my band the Arrogant Sons of Bitches, and I did and it was the worst mistake of my life but at least we don't have a dumb name like Green Day.
Joe: Our mission? Have fun at all costs.
Dave: All right Andy.
Jeff: Mission is just like fucking everything up cause there’s so many thing’s wrong with the underground scene and the mainstream scene and with punk rock in general and we’re just trying to like, fight the good fight against generic born music, and like, even if it sucks, we’re not doing it because its cool we’re doing it because this is what we like doing.

Haley: What’s your opinion on George Bush?
Jeff: I think that he did not win the uh…the president. He didn’t win the election. That’s it, like there’s statistics that prove that, so whatever. My opinion on George Bush is irrelevant because he really shouldn’t be our president right now.
Dave: Uhh… that’s what I was going to say. It’s proven that he did not win, so he’s not really president, and he likes to kill people for no reason.
Joe: That and he drops bombs and does all this shit and it’s more of a whole big power trip, oh he’s got the bigger dick then the other president of that country and his whole attitude is the same as his fathers was and that’s why shit is so fucked up right now in this country.
Jeff: well, you know shit was fucked up before but now it’s like…
Joe: A lot worse.
Jeff: you see, like, the war on CNN and like the way the media covers it they totally play into George Bush being the best guy in the world and like they fucking use the amount of people that dies and like, which bombs used and they use it as a statistic, and they’re like: “21 Iraqis killed today and only one American! Yeah, we won the basketball game!” like it’s all really fucked up right now.
Haley: I personally don’t understand how people can actually like him.
Jeff: Well, they like him because he’s a moron and Americans are all morons, so they relate to him.
Dave: He’s a dumb guy from Texas who, is, he’s actually really really dumb, he paid his way into college, he’s a cokehead, well he was, in college. He graduated from college with a C minus average and now he’s the president of the United States because of his daddy.
Jeff: Because he had the name to follow up on you know, it’s like “Oh here’s another Bush, I like him!”
Dave: It’s like what, 5 years ago the big controversy was “oh no! The president got a blow job”. Now it’s “the presidents destroying the world” and causing lots of problems that could lead to nuclear war.
Jeff: Yeah, Americans don't really understand how, like, how much the rest of the world frowns upon us, and it's pretty much because of his actions and mainly his cabinet. Like, you got Donald Rumsfeld in there, who's a fucking hot head, like all of them just like, want their..
Joe: They need a reaction to anything that happens, and speaking of Rumsfeld, buy our military shirts!!!
Dave: It's all SkyNet's fault.

Haley: What inspired you guys to begin making music?
Jeff: Like, what's continuing to inspire us? Cause in the first place it was just like, I was a loser and I had nothing else to do. Like, when you're in High School, or Junior High, or whatever, like, and you don't have friends, you pretty much just sit in your room and play guitar. You find other people you can do that with, and you just go out and you do that, and that brings you happiness, and we just stuck with it because it was always making us happy, and we were always having a good time doing it, and there are people now who inspire me to keep going on, like, people like, fucking especially like, Dischord Records, and Asian Man Records, which are two things that operate completely outside of mainstream and they do extremely successfully. And to see shit like that, it makes you think, "You know what, you don't have to be a part of whatever system they say you have to be a part of," cause it doesn't always work like that. And musically, last night I saw this band, Q and Not U, who, I saw them for like 5 minuets, cause I got there late, and in 5 minuets they did 20 things, at least, that I had never even thought of fucking doing, and it's just like, there's still so much shit you can do with music and so many ways you can be creative with it without doing the same shit over and over again, and that's the kind of stuff that inspires me to go, "Alright, lets see what else we can do, like, we've don this, lets try and fuck something else up."
Dave: I've been playing my instrument since I was 8 years old, and I got out of high school, and was like, "What to do now?" there's no where to play anymore, and uhh... Like, I fell into this, and it's been 5 and a half years later, and I couldn't imagine life with out being in a band, and I know for a fact that no matter how you feel during the day, no matter how much shit is going on in your life, as soon as you start playing you forget completely about everything, and you're just focused on making other people enjoy the time they're spending with you, watching you.
Haley: Well, the same thing happens when I go to shows, like you get there, and the music starts, and you forget everything that’s bad...
Jeff: Yeah, that's the thing, like, we're coming from a background of having gone to shows, and like, I specifically remember going to shows, and seeing bands, and being like, "Ahh, fuck, I was having a really bad day, but now I feel awesome" and to hopefully somehow be able to return that to people who come to see us now, like, that’s something that I hope that we do and I always strive to do.
Joe: Myself personally with music, it was something I always enjoyed even when I was a kid, even before I played an instrument, and so I always listened to music and it was always like a release so to speak, like growing up I had an older brother and an older sister, so like, as far as friends were concerned you have your close friends you talk to, and all that and then, like Junior High comes in and Junior High is usually like the falling out where schools were all mixed together in one school and you lose a lot of friends you had and there's nothing there for you, and music’s there and at that point it was when I had already started trying to play guitar, trying to learn how to play guitar, and like, I found Jeff and we just started playing music, and its been a release ever since. No matter how many times you get dumped, no matter how many bad days you have, like, they already said it, and its been said a thousand times before. You could be so pissed off, you have an argument with a band member and want to kill each other, and as soon as the drummer does those four clicks of the song, there's nothing there.
Jeff: And every body hugs.
Joe: It's just an adrenaline rush.
Dave: It's like an endorphin, like, that adrenaline rush...
Joe: and also for playing as long as we've been playing shows and stuff, how, no one liked us, not even people from our town liked us, and now it's to the point where like, it's scary to say it, but diehard fans who absolutely love out music and love seeing us perform, and that's an amazing feeling.
Dave: Like, we haven't played at home in a month and a half, and we played in Connecticut, which is two hours away from home, and there were like 20 kids there.
Joe: Who drove to see us cause they missed us.
Dave: Just cause they haven't seen us in a little over a month.
*At this point in the interview I started talking about Skarmy Of Darkness, and a show in Monson that ASOB had played a few weeks before. I introduced myself, cause I’m dumb and I always forget to do that first, then someone brought them chips, and apples, and we went on with the interview.*

Haley: Any hidden talents (that don't have to be musical)?
Jeff: I can play songs with my face, with my head.
Dave: No!!! That’s not the one I’m talking about.
Jeff: Oh, I can cum in like two seconds? Is that a talent?
Dave: No!!
Joe: Oh! You can suck your own dick!
Dave: Yeaaaah!
Jeff: Oh yeah, I can suck my own dick. *A pause and some apple chewing* It happens.
Joe: Play a song on your face, that’s a talent!
Jeff: Well, you can't fuckin' read a song on my face.
Haley: Well, it will record.
Joe: It will be for her personal use.
*At this point, Jeff proceeds to play "Rudie Can Fail" on his face.*
Jeff: It sounds like that, I don't know, I can usually play songs better. Punk rock sounds like me hitting myself, show tunes though.....

Haley: How did the band get started?
Jeff: We met each other through my brother, and we started playing.
Haley: So did you guys go to school together?
Jeff: Ahh, not really. The way the band is now basically me and Joe got stuff going and we got this guy, and this guy, and that guy, but we weren't in the same school together, I was in the same school as Dave, and Dave had graduated.
Dave: Well, I was a senior when Jeff was a freshman.
Jeff: Well, we kind of new each other from school, and other friends and stuff and we were basically the ones who wanted to keep sticking with it.
Dave: I met the drummer [Mike] at a really good show, and he was in another band, and we were in the midst of looking for another drummer and he joined, and our bass player [Bove] was the guitar player of his old band [Mike's] and so it just all worked out.
Jeff: and we knew JT from a band called Sprout and he played keyboard for us for a while and then recently he just decided to do it full time. So that’s how that happened actually, wait.... No, no, wait, we started playing together actually one day because I didn't want to go to a funeral and I hung out with him [Joe] instead, so that’s how our band started: to avoid funerals.
Joe: At all costs.

Haley: What's something people and fans would be surprised to find out about you guys?
Jeff: That I am horrible in bed.
Joe: That's not surprising.
Jeff: No, I think, I think anybody who has seen that is been like, "oh man I didn't expect that to suck so bad."
Dave: And that I’m wonderful in bed!!!
Joe: I think one thing people would find to be really surprising about this band, is how absolutely lazy everyone of us can be, and that pertains to anything and everything, ever. "Joe, can you move up five feet so we don't have to walk the extra, you know...?"
*Groans from Dave*
Joe: "No man, its parked, I’m relaxing." Anything, and everything.
Jeff: We came back from the Warped Tour and everybody just came up to us and said stuff like, "Man if I had the work ethic that you guys have..." I’m just like, "I’m fucking lazy dude."
Dave: We try and sleep 12 hours a day.
Joe: We do, and then we just play our asses off when we play.
Jeff: Like, once you're out there you know, you got nothing else to do but play the shows, you have to do it, we're at home, or we're at a hotel, these are some horrible things to say, but whatever, like, we're not gonna show up to a show on time, because it takes just like three hours to be like, "wake up", "no", "wake the fuck up", "mmmmm I’m sleeping". Today we were two hours late.
Joe: Okay, say, this is the club we're playing at today, we drive past it, and on the next corner is the motel we're staying at, its not even 5 minuets walking distance, we're 45 minuets late, and its walking distance.
Jeff: We all listen to a lot of different music.
H: Yeah, I was definitely surprised to come in here and hear Simple Plan.
Dave: Mall punk is fun!
Haley: That's the first time I've heard it called that, in Indiana they say "Bubblegum Punk".
Joe: You know why its called mall punk? Because you don't buy the CD at a show, these kids aren't even aware of what shows are, they hear the songs on the radio, they see the video, then they go to the mall and buy the CD.
Jeff: The thing that’s good about Good Charlotte is they get kids to like, like they brought Less Than Jake and fucking Roger Miret and the Disasters on tour with them, see they're trying to give back to the punk community by getting people in there. And then there are bands, who I’m not going to name, that they fucking, like, name drop their clothing companies, they name drop Blink 182, it's like it doesn't bring anything new to it, it makes it more mainstream, but each and every band can go do what ever the fuck they want, it has nothing to do with us.
Dave: I love Aaron from Wakefield!!!!

Haley: This is your very first Warped Tour, how's it going so far?
Jeff: Yea, this is our first Warped Tour, and its been going great, and you know there's the basic, crowds have been really receptive, which is cool, and there's been a lot of getting to play with a lot of bands that inspired us to play in the first place. There have been so many flat out nice people who are just helping us out because they respect what we're doing and it's like, I didn't expect that, I’m used to playing shows, and getting kicked out or getting thrown out because we're breaking in, like we broke in [at Warped Tour], people were like, "That’s fucking awesome! That's the way you gotta do it!" and I was really surprised because you know, you see Subway logos, and Target logos, and all the Easy Mac logos, and all that shit and you don't think, like Subway and Easy Mac people will fuck over their companies so they can give you free food and like...
Joe: And the Easy Mac guy will be like, "Oh, you guys were awesome! I watched you guys play, here have a couple free cases of Easy Mac."
Jeff: And you think that that's not the place where you'd bump into people who, I guess are "punk rock" but like, all the bands I thought would be cool like are just kind of into there own world, and like kind of stand-off-ish to the little kid bands and then there are people like Simple Plan who, you'd think, "oh man these guys are gonna be dicks, they're all over MTV," and they're the nicest fucking guys in the world! Same thing with Bowling For Soup, like, they were nominated for a fucking Grammy, and we hang out with them and they're like everybody else on the tour. Warped Tour, I expected all the bands to be like, "Yeah, we're famous! We're famous! We're famous!" and the only bands that really did that are the bands that are the "Punk rock" bands, which whatever, fuck them. *PAUSE* You know what, fuck what I said, because I can't think of anyone who has really been mean to us, and that's... I can't believe that, people are actually being nice to us.
Dave: Yeah, cause like all the punk rock bands, I was thinking, we got drunk with the Dropkick Murphy's...
Jeff: Yeah, that's what I was thinking too.
Dave: The Suicide Machines told people they want to come back and meet us when we get back on the tour.
Jeff: The roadies are mean.
Dave: That’s cause roadies don't give a shit about people, they give a shit about doing their job the right way cause they're going to get bitched at if they don't do their job right.
Jeff: Yeah...Warped Tour's been insane.

Haley: What is your biggest accomplishment as a band so far?
Jeff: Sneaking into the Warped Tour!
Dave: Yeah!

Haley: Yeah, how did you guys manage to get on the Warped Tour?
Dave: We didn't, we're not officially on the Warped Tour.
Jeff: No, well, some days we were, but just like, being able to take a place like Long Island, where everyone fucking bitches everyone else out, and every bodies sucking everyone else’s dick to get in the cool underground show, and somehow, recently, we became this band that everyone is interested in, and it doesn't even seem like it's the standard kids who go to shows, the fan base, it's just like a bunch of kids who are enjoying what's going on and I think that our biggest accomplishment is that we can help people be taken away from all the bullshit that goes along with the business.
Joe:
I'd like to say one comment on Warped Tour, we showed up the first day, played outside, second day we showed up in the van and trailer and they let us park where the bands park...
Jeff: You can't say that, cause they're gonna catch onto us!
Dave: Yeah, really!!
Joe: Well, my point is, and we played inside, and everyday after that we were allowed inside and we played, and we played our asses off, and that's how we did it, we played our asses off, we played 3 sets in 1 day and have the guy who runs Warped Tour watching us, and have this huge crowd watching us, more people watched us then the stage he runs, and he was amazed by that, that we got that many people to watch us.
H: Well, I'm going to tell my friends who are going to Warped Tour to watch you guys.
Dave: Tell all your friends!!!!!!

Haley: How did you guys get to be friends with the bands?
Jeff: The thing with the Warped Tour, how we became friends with any bands is like, one, they'd hear what we were doing and just be like, "That's awesome, you guys are cool," so we were like, "Wow, alright!".
Joe: I think the main thing is, is like we already established earlier is, you were there last year, with your magazine doing interviews, when you meet the band members they meet you, and the way they greet you. *PAUSE* We've done that, in '97, we went and we ran, well, we didn't even call it a magazine, it was a "Ragazine," we ran that, and when you're backstage and you meet them, they meet you as a fan, from that perspective, and now it's almost like a colleague, you're not playing on the same stage as them, or you're not as famous as them, they introduce themselves and they're like, "Hey my name is this, and this is the band I'm in, what's the name of your band?" and every response to our band name was, "Wow! That's an awesome name, I wont forget that."
Jeff: It's kind of like, they're all people, and we're all people, it's just like you get along with people you're gonna get along with. It's just like a camp.
Joe: Just for the record, it's not the Vans Warped tour, it's the Punk Rock Band Camp, summer camp.
Jeff: Like, we get along with Bowling for Soup, we can make dick jokes with then and they'll be like, "Haha that's funny"....And they're both giant.
Dave: Yeah, me and Chris are both big, so we make fat jokes.
Jeff: And it's like, that's the kind of shit, you just find people who you get along with, and they happen to be in a band. Sometimes, like, we made friends with a lot of people not in bands. *very long Pause...* We went to show Bowling for Soup our new video, and they showed us their new video and everybody shows up with water and Jared opens up the door and he goes [the dude with the water], "Hey, is that big fat guy back here?" and he goes [Jared], "There's a bunch of fat guys back here, why don't you go take a look..."
Dave: He's like, "There's a bunch of fat guys back there, go check, yours might be back there!"
Haley: *laughs* That's the thing I hate about some stuff, is that, like you said, they meet you as a fan, I’m not necessarily a fan of all the bands we interview.
Joe: But you know what I’m saying though, there is a difference.
Jeff: And that's a thing like, I hope that we can do is just like, we're all peers, we're all the same people.
Joe: We just happen to be playing in a band.
Dave: And also, we are all fans of these people that I'm friends with that I’m a fan of, there are opportunities, where if I can stand on the side or stand in the crowd I'll still stand in the crowd, cause it's more of an experience that way.
Joe: It's all about having a great time.
Dave: We want fun and we wanna get wasted!
*Talk of Rancid, and........the tape ends! The first time in Toxic history a band takes up the whole tape! Congratulations ASOB!*

Haley: Wow...That's the first time that’s ever happened before!
Jeff: You're going to have a lot of shit to type out!
*More talk of Rancid*
Haley: Umm...Yeah, we should probably get back to the interview.
Jeff: Yeah!!! Get back to the fuckin’ interview!!! What are we on, like question 4?
Haley: I don’t even remember.
Dave: Let me see, I'll tell you....

Haley: What do you want to have accomplished by the time you're old?
Dave: We are old.
Joe: Huge family. Twelve children.
Jeff: I just wanna be able to do something that I enjoy and be able to live off that, and not be stuck at some job that I fucking hate.
Joe: I'd like to say, to be able to do this for a living, and not have to go out, like right now, we go out, we bust our asses, and we come home and we work our asses off to be able to go out again, I'd like to be able to do this for a living, cause there's nothing I love more than playing.
Dave: I want to set up franchises across the whole country, for illegitimate children.
Joe: By the time we're old our fan base will be in their teens, and they'll be related to us.
Jeff: You know what would be cool, if we were like 50, and we were playing at Jone's Beach or something, and there's like 35, 40 year olds going, "Yeah! I remember that song! He said bleed a lot, but they don't bleed as much anymore."
Dave: Cause their skin is more dead.
Jeff: They don't have any blood left in them.

Haley: *Credit for this question goes to Overated Magazine.* What sets your band apart from all the others? Why should people come to your shows?
Dave: Because we bleed a lot.
Joe: Performance. People come to see us, granted you come to see the music, like, we have songs that are catchy, you can sing along, you know the words to, other than that, performance, everyone in the band does something different, it makes it worth your while to watch.
Jeff: It's the spontaneity of it.
Joe: Nothing is planned.
*This is certainly an understatement, their shows are crazy, and I love them. Everyone should go out to an ASOB show, if you don't, ehh that’s sad.*
Jeff: I know too many fucking bands that I've seen the same fucking show every night, and it's just like, I hate that and I do the exact opposite when I see other bands doing what I don't like, and just being spontaneous, it's like fucking, going up and not knowing that you're going to have to talk for 3 minuets in the middle of a song and not having any fucking idea what your going to talk about till you get there.
Dave: Also, the fact that we played, at, uhh.. cause we were home, as a favor we played at the club that I work at, JT works at, we played two songs, like every other band that was up there, and after words I had, like, all these old people coming up to me like, "Hey, I've never heard you guys before but that was the greatest thing I've ever seen!" like, JT was hanging upside down from the rafters, Jeff had knocked everything over, he was just lying on the floor....
Joe: JT ran in mid-set, we tried calling him the whole night, and he didn't answer his cell phone.
Dave: And we played terribly, but we didn't care, we were just like running around like idiots having fun.
Jeff: Yeah, just make sure every bodies having a good time, like too many bands are fucking self absorbed.
Joe: More so than other bands, and I know a lot of other bands do it, but we make every performance we do we make it personal for the fans.
Jeff: Oooohh... Make is personal? How many people in emo shirts have walked away because of what I've said?

Haley: Who were your biggest influences?
Jeff: The Clash, Dillinger Four, Fugazi, bands basically that I've seen that do things that haven't been done before, really really just fuckin’ make me want to go out, and, it like gets you, like you get into a mindset sometimes, like, "Yeah, we're gonna write this song, its got a verse, chorus, verse, chorus," and there are a lot of bands that don't do that and are still successful in their own right and bands like that just fucking blow my mind. And I just wanna someday be able to blow somebody else’s mind, like inspire them to do something like that, which, I don't know, it's a silly little dream.
Dave: I don't know, Less than Jake, NOFX, Green Day, other bands, I’m not a very picky person.
Joe: I’m not even going to go with band names, I'll just go with like what he said, the bands that do something different and don't do something so they can get popular because it's different then everything else, bands that do what they've always done and have a good time playing, or that stick around, that'll be around for like 6 years before they signed, and get famous so that people on the other side of the country know them, that just makes you want to continue playing music, and do everything you can.

Haley: What's the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?
Dave: It wasn't really embarrassing, but it was really funny, I was drunk in New Mexico and hitting on this girl, and I definitely could've banged her and Joey, our merch guy, slash roadie, slash whatever, who's not here today cause he's sick, comes over to me, and he taps her on the shoulder and he's like, "Yeah, you're gonna fuck Dave right?" and she's like, "Dave?! I thought his name was Jacob!! Fucking asshole!" and she walks away.
Joe: He was so drunk he told her his name was Jacob. And for me I can't think of anything recent, I can think of in the 5th grade, we had the spelling bee in front of the whole school and I tripped walking up to the microphone when it was my turn to spell the word, that's something I can remember as really embarrassing.
Jeff: I'll just say sex is embarrassing in general.
*Everyone claps*
Dave: I think he's good in bed.
Joe: Yeah, he's fine.
Dave: I love doin' Jeff!!!
*There was some dry air humping going on after this discussion...*

Haley: What are the best and worst things about being in a band?
Jeff: The worst thing, I'd say is fucking, having to live in a confined area with 8 very strong opinionated people and just all the arguments and bickering and fuck that, then we get to see the country and play with bands that we love and influence us and we get to see kids who like, are relating to what we're saying and that outweighs the bad by 5 billion.
Dave: Yeah, he just summed it up.
Joe: I agree with him. The best times are going across the country seeing all these places that you've never seen and it's not even a matter of like performing, you get to meet all these new people, and playing all these new places, but like sitting down in like, we went to a Mexican restaurant in, it was La Posta in New Mexico, and sat down and had amazing Mexican food, things like that are amazing. I'd say the worst thing is you live in a confined area with 7 other people, there's 8 of you all together, ok, and out of the 8 people you can't vote for a president, that one person to be like the Mom or Dad, and be the leader and say, "okay, this is what we're going to do, and this is where we're going to do it," it's the most frustrating thing when it comes to the point where someone needs to be the Mom or Dad, the second they say "okay, this is what we need to do," everyone says, "Nooo!! I don't wanna do it! I wanna do it when I wanna do it!" I think that's the worst thing.
Dave: I think if there was a Mom and Dad of this band, Jeff's the Mom, and I’m the Dad, cause I yell at everyone to do stuff, and Jeff's like, "Guys, come on, you gotta do this, I'll make you a sandwich if you do it."
Jeff: Yeah, that's me.

Haley: Do you see your style of music changing in the future?
Dave: Yes.
Jeff: Always, possibly.
Dave: We're going to become a Nu-Metal band....Our style is constantly changing.
Jeff: Yeah, it's gotta constantly change, because there's constantly new things you learn about, and that you hear and you're just like, "Hey man, that's awesome, let me try and incorporate that into what I'm doing."
Dave: Like, theremins, and synthesizers.
Jeff: Yeah, like we're going to be making a ska album with theremins, and glockenspiels, and bocotors, and synthesizers, and...
Dave: And the cello.
Joe: Stand up bass.
Jeff: Like, turntables, like you just take shit, and incorporate it with what you love, like I love ska music, but just playing ska is fucking boring, and there will never be the day we stop playing ska music, but there will never be the day when we only play that. So, our shits always going to change. Hopefully.

Haley: *Credit for this question goes to my Dad.* Do you sing in the shower?
Dave: Umm... Sometimes. I'll sing like, top 40 Pop songs by girl singers in the shower, like Britney Spears, and Christina Aguilara.
Joe: I whispered that so it wasn't on tape.
Dave: What?
Jeff: When he's whackin off in the shower? I don't masturbate in the shower, you don't get enough friction.
Dave: I don't masturbate in the shower either, I masturbate in front of the computer, get it right!
Jeff: Do you sing in the shower Joe?
Joe: I don't sing in the shower, honestly, you know what I do in the shower? *PAUSE* I think.
Dave: You're creepy.
Jeff: I actually, I write songs in the shower.
Joe: For me, all these ideas come together while I’m in the shower, and I’m sitting there thinking, "Okay, this could work out," like anything I'm trying to write or like, anything I'm just trying to get out of my head, and all of a sudden I'm like, "Did I use the shampoo yet? Did I repeat?"
Jeff: I don't sing in the shower, I did it once, and it wasn't all everyone said it was, so I was just like, "Okay, whatever," it's just like singing.
Dave: I'll be like, washing, I'll be like, "My loneliness..." it passes the time, and I love top 40 radio.
Jeff: I usually just end up in the shower, or just walking down the street, just being like, "Fuck! I wish I had a tape recorder!" I try to do all my shit as quick as possible and like, run out and write down the thing, and it's like, 300ths as good as I actually thought it would be, and I'm just like, "Ahhh fuck it!"
Joe: For example, coming home from tour and actually having water pressure, and the water not being ridiculously hard, I find New York water to be the best to shower in cause that's what I'm used to, and I fell asleep in the shower the first shower I took when I got home from the tour. I was in the shower for an hour and a half.
Dave: That's awesome!!
Jeff: Pruney fingers!

Haley: What were your New Years resolutions and did you keep them?
Jeff: My New Years resolution was to take Metamucil everyday and I did not keep it.
Dave: My New Years resolution was to have sex everyday and I did not keep it.
Jeff: Was that really your resolution?
Dave: No.
Joe: My New Years resolution was to become an alcoholic and..I'm...
Dave: well on my way!
Joe: Yeah, I'm well on my way, and I'm trying to stop it.
Dave: Yeah, my New Years resolution was to not drink anymore...on the road...
Joe: I have a problem with drinking and it's not a matter of that I have to drink everyday, it's when I start drinking I'm like, "Oh, it's my 2nd beer," and I turn around and it's like, I look at the receipt and it's like, "No, it's your 8th or 9th beer already," that's my thing, and I've been doing good, I don't drink that much on the road anymore, I keep within 1 and 2 beers now.
Dave: I keep within 1 and 2 thousand.
Jeff: I drink very little.
Dave: I'll have like 10 or 12.
Jeff: No...... We didn't keep our New Years resolutions at all.

Haley: *Credit for this question also goes to Overated Magazine* Okay, you're stranded on a deserted island with no food or water, which band member would you eat first, and why?
Jeff: Dave! Biggest.
Dave: *angry sigh*
Jeff: Most food man, sorry.
Dave: But it's mostly not muscle, that's why I'd say Costa, Costa has the most muscle.
Jeff: Muscle's tough though.
Dave: Muscle is what you eat off an animal!!!!!
Jeff: But you could chew.....
Joe: I'd probably say Costa, but you'd have to shave him, he's a hairy guy. Definitely not JT, and Jeff, they're vegetarians, and they'd be bland, him [Dave] I feel he's be a little too salty.
Jeff: Salty is good when you're not eating anything.
Dave: Bovey would be a little too greasy.
Joe: I'd eat Joey.
Dave: Yeah, I'd eat Joey.
Jeff: I'd eat Joey.
Dave: He's tall, somewhat muscular...
Joe: Yeah, that's who I'd eat, Joey.
Dave: Yeah, Joey.
Jeff: Joey!
Dave: Good job! A compromise!

Haley: If you weren't in a band what do you think you'd be doing instead?
Dave: I'd either be going to school and actually trying, cause I wouldn't have anything else to do or...
Jeff: Well, that makes me feel bad! Go to school!
Dave: No! Ummm.. I'd probably be out there looking for the one to get married, have the wife and kids and stuff.
Joe: Very easily put it, if I wasn't in a band, if I wasn't in this band, I don't know what I'd do with my life, this band is the only thing in my life that I put everything I've ever thought I could, and everything I never believed I could put into something, and it's, it's still going. Relationships, I was in a relationship for a long time, and it ended, you know, it's the only thing I have left that means something to me.
Jeff: If I wasn't in a band I would be in a coffin, dead. Simply put, because this is where I get everything out there.
Joe: In ten years will you remember me? No! Cause you'll be dead!
Jeff: That's what I say to people who don't like us. Or I'd try and be writing, I'd try and be in another band. Like, we broke up for a little bit, or we went on "Hiatus" I guess, that's what they call it now, because they don't want to say breaking up because that's not marketable, but like, all I was thinking about was, "Alright, let me try and start another band," it's just like, "Okay, I want to start a band with these people, because I like these people," so, it ended up being the same band. I don't know what I'd do, I'd be dead. I can guarantee it. Hi Mike.

**At this point in the interview I handed Joe the tape recorder, and he took over, and this is what he said:
Joe: Mike is at the window, and Mike is a greasy Italian, and he is a very hairy guy, and he likes to play the drums, and Dave's reading the interview questions, and he thinks it's a good question, and ummm... *this is about when we caught onto his evil plan...*
Joe: What?! I wasn't doing anything.

Jeff: Oh! What's the last CD you bought! That’s easy! Last CD you bought?
Joe: I need some time to think...
Dave: I download it.
Jeff: Last record or CD, does it matter?
Haley: Nope.
Jeff: Q and not U, "No kill, No beap beap!"
Dave: Really? At the show?
Jeff: Yeah, cause I didn't have to pay for a ticket.
Dave: Why?
Jeff: Cause.
Dave: The last CD I bought was probably....
Jeff: Alkaline Trio.
Dave: But I bought something else that day didn't I?
Jeff: No.
Dave: Alright, Alkaline Trio, "Good Mourning".
Joe: The last CD I bought was over a year ago, and I bought, because I lost the copy I had, I bought the Springfield Jack CD. I was lucky enough to find it used cause it's out of print, the last record I bought was Squeeze, "Greatest Hits".
Jeff: No... Squeeze, "Argy Bargy".
Joe: Yes.

Haley: Can I have my questions back?
Jeff: Well... Lets see what you got here.... Alright, if you could say one thing to your fans.... We don't have any fans. Last good advice you got.... Never got any good advice. What can fans expect from... Oh man, you got a lot of these, okay, we're gonna run through them real quick.
H: Well, we can end.
Jeff: No! I wanna get all your questions.
Dave: Rapid fire questions!
Jeff: This is the rapid fire bonus round!!!

Haley: Who and when was your first show?
Dave: Real Big Fish, Zebrahead, MU33, and Teen Idols.
Joe: First concert: Def Leppard, 8 years old, Coliseum.
Jeff: First concert: Billy Joel, Elton John.

Haley:How do you guys write your songs?
Dave: Jeff will write them and we critique.
Joe: We all critique and add our own part to it.
Jeff: I walk down the street and I hear songs and I run back and try and write them down before I forget it.
Joe: Most of the time the ones he remembers are the better ones.

Haley: Say something to your fans.
Jeff: Thanks!
Dave: Yeah, we love you guys!
Jeff: We didn't expect to have fans.

Haley: Last good advice?
Dave: Be more confident in yourself, and it worked.
Jeff: Good advice from people has been: You guys are doing it wrong; You guys shouldn't be playing ska; You guys shouldn't be acting like the way you act; You guys need to be less chaotic on stage; You guys need to rid of this member, you guys need to get rid of that member; cause we're on the fucking warped tour and all those people are right now, sucking our dicks.
Joe: If you're going to have sex, practice safe sex.
Dave: Don't be silly, wrap that willy! Joe's mom gave me that advice.
Joe: My mom's big on that.

Haley: What's your favorite song to play live?
Dave: Rocket Rocket Rocket Ship.
Jeff: I've got enemies in high places.
Joe: PISS OFF.

Haley: What would you do if you guys got really really famous?
Jeff: Fuck up everything!!!!!!! I'm going to, my goal is to take down MTV, my goal is to infiltrate the system and show people all the bullshit that really goes on like, that record companies pay for their stuff to be on MTV, and that's okay now, cause they're white, and 50 years ago when it was black rock n'roll artists, they called it Payola, and people got arrested for it, and they stopped playing black rock n'roll on the radio, and they started playing the white version of rock n'roll on the radio, which is what we listen to now, when white people do things it's not a crime, but when black people do things it is a crime.
Joe: I'd just like to say quickly, along with that topic, I completely forgot what the fuck I was going to say...*PAUSE* Oh! Get famous, have money, whatever, along the lines of his master plan, which is a great idea, I personally would like to open a venue, and give something back to the community, where kids who are just starting out, or just starting their band, even if they're young...
Jeff: This is rapid fire buddy! Pick up the pace!
Joe: They'd be able to play and perform and have some place they'd be able to call home.
Dave: Your answer should have been over and done!

Haley: What can people expect from you next year?
Jeff: I have no fucking idea, because we didn't expect to be on the Warped Tour this year, and like, somebody asks me what you can expect next year, we're gonna be touring, recording new records, basically what we're going to be doing, I guess it's up to everybody else, what we're going to be doing next year because the kids who enjoy it, they enjoy it enough to tell their friends about it, like, we'll be playing for more people, we'll just keep giving it everything that we have, all the time, we're going to be recording a new record which will be out at the end of this year, and we'll be touring to support that, and I don't know what's going to go on with that, but like, that's what we're doing, right now our main goal is we're going to get in the studio and put down all these fucking songs that we have so we can write another album.

Haley: Any last words?
Jeff: Now we have a bunch of tape left, those were quick, what else do you got?
Haley: That’s all of them.
Jeff: That's not all of them!
Joe: The stars!!!
Dave: Haley's really sun burned, and it hurts!
Joe: So, what did she learn?
Dave: She learned what it is to burn!!!
Haley: *laughs*

Jeff: Ohh! Alright! You didn't ask this one, what advice can you give to future musicians? Don't worry, about whether or not you can play your instrument! You can fake it! It's alright! You can fake singing, you can sing in a hardcore band....
Joe: Who's the master of fake singing? This guy right here [Jeff]. It's all about getting the veins to pop out!
Jeff: If you do shit for long enough you can figure it out. Don't ever give up playing music, ever.
Joe: And when your parents tell you it's too loud, or it's not good, continue playing.
Dave: And go, "I wanna rock!!!"
Jeff: I can't tell you how many times my dad fuckin’ told me to stop playing and now whenever I'm playing the guitar he's like, "That sounds good!" and I'm like, "Yeah?! Fuck you Dad!"
Joe: My Mom always said, "Play music, it's a good thing," she understood that I wanted to play music, that's what I wanted to do in life, but never really liked the band. My Father wouldn't even listen to it cause he listens to oldies, and we're home from tour, and I went out with a couple of friends to a carnival in town, and go over to say 'hi' to my Father and some other guys from the fire department, and my Father's bragging to the rest of the people in the fire department, he's like, "Yeah, my sons band is on the Warped Tour! They're going back out to play the Warped Tour," and all these people were like amazed and that just felt so good to hear my father bragging about something we've done.
Dave: Yeah! I want to admit right now that I listen to trendy music. Like, Finch, and Thursday.
Jeff: This is not the question!!
Dave: I know, I had to get it off my chest......Like... who else???
Jeff: Before you go on your rant, for future musicians or whatever, don't limit yourself to doing one thing because it's a bad idea, and that's why bands are bad, cause it's a "I wanna be a hardcore band!" and they sound like every other fucking hardcore band, just go out and listen to a whole bunch of shit and see what comes out of it. Dave talk about how you love the radio.
Dave: I love the radio, it makes me happy, it just, like, it's funny.
Jeff: They fucking, they manufacture pop songs so people will like them, so of course people are going to like them.
Joe: You know what excites me? Jeff records demos in his dorm at school, and puts them, some of them, up on the website, and 6 months later it will be the first time we play the song as a band, and people are singing the words.

Haley: Okay, and finally.... Any last words?
Dave: THIS IS THE LAST GOODBYE!!
Jeff: I wanna say a few things, support Plea for Peace, support Take Action, support the Hopeline cause they're all awesome people and awesome causes. Don't trust that any band that you see on TV or listen to on the radio is for real because companies make a lot of money figuring out how to market that shit, and how to make it look like it's real, and a lot of the time it's not, so go out there, and find bands that you can relate to, and listen to our stuff, buy all our stuff first, and then, and then see if you can relate to it, so at least we get your money. *PAUSE* That's it.
Dave: I love anal.
Jeff: And respect each other. That's it.

For More Information:
• ASOB Official Site: www.asobrock.com
• Asian Man Records Official Site: www.asianmanrecords.com
• Hopeline Official Site: www.hopeline.com
• Plea For Peace Official Site: www.pleaforpeace.com

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